Friday, January 1, 2016

Counseling and Bits of Divine

God works in such crazy ways. I learned through working in child protection that I had a desire to learn more about counseling. I felt that in child protection I wasn’t able to help the families I worked with the way I wanted to. In child protection, I was referring families. Referring to counseling, to substance abuse prevention, to anger management. I had little time to work on the heart issues with my families. Counseling you get to get in the dirt, in the grind with your clients. You get to walk alongside of them as they approach real issues. You can do this in social work as well, but there is not nearly as much time with your families.

Last fall, I started taking graduate courses for counseling. I don’t know exactly what God is going to do with my desire or where He will lead me, but I trust Him and I am excited about the opportunity. The crazy part is that God is so sovereign over every step we take in life. There were days when I worked in child protection that I wondered why I was there and doubted my decision. There were painful and challenging days, days that I hurt from the burden of the pain I saw. But now I can see the loving, patient hand of God directing me through each step. God is SO good! He has led me to this step and I am taking each counseling class, trusting the Lord with every piece of this experience.

I love people and stories, this is what draws me to counseling. I think people are the most important investment we could make. Wealth and material things and houses will fade, souls will last. I love the idea of walking with someone in the hurt and pain and victories. People are the Lord’s delight and I want to delight in people along with the Lord.

There are bits and pieces that I have been learning through my classes that I want to share. Some thoughts are large and whole, others are small and ripped in broken pieces, like a laundry string of rags drying in the sun.

1)    Counseling is not just giving advice. The gospel says we are all sinners in need of a Savior. I am no better and don’t have it “more together” than the person next to me. I am simply a helper, I want to walk with others in their journey. I see it not as someone superior (the counselor) looking from above to help someone inferior (the client) below but rather walking alongside of someone.

2)    It is very easy in our life to look at the outside, the behaviors. For example, a person presents as an alcoholic as their behavior. But there is always something below the surface that causes that behavior. Counseling is like peeling an onion, layer after layer, until the motive behind the behavior becomes more and more clear. A person may be choosing to drink alcohol to numb themselves or distract themselves from the pain of memories of an abusive parent or a feeling of worthlessness. If we only treat behaviors and not motive, it is like giving Advil to a person with a broken leg. Treating the behaviors may help but it will not solve the main issue. Thus, the main issue will keep presenting itself through other ways if not treated. It is possible that the alcoholic needs to talk about their past, their parents, their abuse. Restoration needs to be made if possible. The cool part about a counselor’s job is that they get to see life from the client’s perspective, to feel and think as they might and listen and truly hear them.

3)    One of my desires in my future counseling (and now as I talk with those around me) is to point others to truth. Truth is found in God alone. We each pursue various versions in our life of what we believe is right and wrong, but ultimately right and wrong is determined by God. His Word gives us truth to live by. In counseling I have learned that unless I work in a Christian capacity, it is unethical for me to push my Christian views on my client. However, I do believe that truth is found in God alone and that effects how I view every issue. I want to point my clients to God when I am able. I want them to seek God, not human advice.

4)    I am still learning in my life how God uses difficult circumstances. I know that God used the death of my father to bring me to Him, for His glory. Sometimes we need to be brought to our knees to realize our need for God. Our need is the gospel. Realizing we have need, need for a Savior, is the first part of the gospel. Realizing that we don’t have it all together but that God directs and leads our life is vital for a rich, full life in the Lord. I love Daniel 3. King Nebuchadnezzar sets up an idol and asks his people to join in worship of it with him. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego refuse to worship the idol, knowing that there is only one God to worship. 

“’But if you do not worship, you shall immediately be cast into a burning fiery furnace. And who is the god who will deliver you out of my hands?’ Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego answered and said to the king, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. If this be so, our God who we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.” Daniel 3: 15-18

I love the reminder that in the midst of hardship, God is still good. “But if not”, God is still so, so good. Will we choose to believe this? Will we choose to believe God above whatever else we want? Will we believe He is good even when things are taken away?

I love this thought as I think about walking with people in their hurt. I love that God meets us where we are. We don’t have to “clean up” or “make ourselves better” in order that God loves us. He loves us right where we are, in whatever stage we are. We come to Him in our need and know that “but if not”, He is still so good.

5)    Something I have been learning over and over this year is RESTORATION. God is in the work of restoration, of healing, of peace. Something God has revealed to me over and over is that He desires soothing peace seeking for His people and we are instruments in this. When we gossip and talk bitterly about someone else, we forget that God desires this restoration. I am trying to make a habit of going directly to the person I am upset with, even in the little things and tell them why I am upset. Instead of telling everyone around me: family, friends, coworkers about what upsets me, I desire to skip this step and seek restoration with the person I feel bitter towards.

I have found such sweet growth in this area. I have found that often times the person I share my concerns with responds in a way I didn’t expect. I believe they deserve to not be talked about, but to have the right to hear our concerns. I have found that  after sharing the concerns, you then have genuine relationship with others. We all desire HONESTY in our relationships. Restoration and peace seeking is a part of that. Not telling others how you truly feel is a fake, false relationship. There is so much beauty in truth.


I just started reading a devotional for the year written by Shauna Niequest called Savor. I highly recommend it! I love her talk of the word bittersweet: “Bittersweet is the practice of believing that we really do need both the bitter and the sweet, and that a life of nothing but sweetness rots both your teeth and your soul. Bitter is what makes us strong, what forces us to push through, what helps us earn the lines on our faces and the calluses on our hands. Sweet is nice enough, but bittersweet is beautiful, nuanced, full of depth and complexity. Bittersweet is courageous, gutsy, earthy”.

So good. 2015 has been a year of enormous, raw spiritual growth for me. As I learn counseling, I have been counseled myself. I have begun to peel back the layers of my past and see the bright, white light of the Lord gently pushing me, softly leading me in my bittersweet areas. Thank you, Lord for your goodness. Thank you for the “but if nots”.


Job 2:10- “Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?”
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