God works in such crazy ways.
I learned through working in child protection that I had a desire to learn more
about counseling. I felt that in child protection I wasn’t able to help the
families I worked with the way I wanted to. In child protection, I was
referring families. Referring to counseling, to substance abuse prevention, to
anger management. I had little time to work on the heart issues with my
families. Counseling you get to get in the dirt, in the grind with your
clients. You get to walk alongside of them as they approach real issues. You
can do this in social work as well, but there is not nearly as much time with
your families.
Last fall, I started taking
graduate courses for counseling. I don’t know exactly what God is going to do
with my desire or where He will lead me, but I trust Him and I am excited about
the opportunity. The crazy part is that God is so sovereign over every step we
take in life. There were days when I worked in child protection that I wondered
why I was there and doubted my decision. There were painful and challenging
days, days that I hurt from the burden of the pain I saw. But now I can see the
loving, patient hand of God directing me through each step. God is SO good! He
has led me to this step and I am taking each counseling class, trusting the
Lord with every piece of this experience.
I love people and stories,
this is what draws me to counseling. I think people are the most important investment
we could make. Wealth and material things and houses will fade, souls will
last. I love the idea of walking with someone in the hurt and pain and
victories. People are the Lord’s delight and I want to delight in people along
with the Lord.
There are bits and pieces
that I have been learning through my classes that I want to share. Some
thoughts are large and whole, others are small and ripped in broken pieces,
like a laundry string of rags drying in the sun.
1)
Counseling is not
just giving advice. The gospel says we are all sinners in need of a Savior. I
am no better and don’t have it “more together” than the person next to me. I am
simply a helper, I want to walk with others in their journey. I see it not as
someone superior (the counselor) looking from above to help someone inferior
(the client) below but rather walking alongside of someone.
2)
It is very easy
in our life to look at the outside, the behaviors. For example, a person
presents as an alcoholic as their behavior. But there is always something below
the surface that causes that behavior. Counseling is like peeling an onion,
layer after layer, until the motive behind the behavior becomes more and more
clear. A person may be choosing to drink alcohol to numb themselves or distract
themselves from the pain of memories of an abusive parent or a feeling of
worthlessness. If we only treat behaviors and not motive, it is like giving
Advil to a person with a broken leg. Treating the behaviors may help but it
will not solve the main issue. Thus, the main issue will keep presenting itself
through other ways if not treated. It is possible that the alcoholic needs to
talk about their past, their parents, their abuse. Restoration needs to be made
if possible. The cool part about a counselor’s job is that they get to see life
from the client’s perspective, to feel and think as they might and listen and
truly hear them.
3)
One of my desires
in my future counseling (and now as I talk with those around me) is to point
others to truth. Truth is found in God alone. We each pursue various versions
in our life of what we believe is right and wrong, but ultimately right and
wrong is determined by God. His Word gives us truth to live by. In counseling I
have learned that unless I work in a Christian capacity, it is unethical for me
to push my Christian views on my client. However, I do believe that truth is
found in God alone and that effects how I view every issue. I want to point my
clients to God when I am able. I want them to seek God, not human advice.
4)
I am still
learning in my life how God uses difficult circumstances. I know that God used
the death of my father to bring me to Him, for His glory. Sometimes we need to
be brought to our knees to realize our need for God. Our need is the gospel.
Realizing we have need, need for a Savior, is the first part of the gospel.
Realizing that we don’t have it all together but that God directs and leads our
life is vital for a rich, full life in the Lord. I love Daniel 3. King
Nebuchadnezzar sets up an idol and asks his people to join in worship of it
with him. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego refuse to worship the idol, knowing
that there is only one God to worship.
“’But if you do not
worship, you shall immediately be cast into a burning fiery furnace. And who is
the god who will deliver you out of my hands?’ Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego
answered and said to the king, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you
in this matter. If this be so, our God who we serve is able to deliver us from
the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But
if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship
the golden image that you have set up.” Daniel 3: 15-18
I love the
reminder that in the midst of hardship, God is still good. “But if not”, God is
still so, so good. Will we choose to believe this? Will we choose to believe
God above whatever else we want? Will we believe He is good even when things
are taken away?
I love this
thought as I think about walking with people in their hurt. I love that God
meets us where we are. We don’t have to “clean up” or “make ourselves better”
in order that God loves us. He loves us right where we are, in whatever stage
we are. We come to Him in our need and know that “but if not”, He is still so
good.
5)
Something I have
been learning over and over this year is RESTORATION. God is in the work of
restoration, of healing, of peace. Something God has revealed to me over and
over is that He desires soothing peace seeking for His people and we are
instruments in this. When we gossip and talk bitterly about someone else, we
forget that God desires this restoration. I am trying to make a habit of going
directly to the person I am upset with, even in the little things and tell them
why I am upset. Instead of telling everyone around me: family, friends,
coworkers about what upsets me, I desire to skip this step and seek restoration
with the person I feel bitter towards.
I have found
such sweet growth in this area. I have found that often times the person I
share my concerns with responds in a way I didn’t expect. I believe they
deserve to not be talked about, but to have the right to hear our concerns. I
have found that after sharing the
concerns, you then have genuine relationship with others. We all desire HONESTY
in our relationships. Restoration and peace seeking is a part of that. Not
telling others how you truly feel is a fake, false relationship. There is so
much beauty in truth.
I just started reading a
devotional for the year written by Shauna Niequest called Savor. I highly recommend it! I love her talk of the word
bittersweet: “Bittersweet is the practice of believing that we really do need
both the bitter and the sweet, and that a life of nothing but sweetness rots
both your teeth and your soul. Bitter is what makes us strong, what forces us
to push through, what helps us earn the lines on our faces and the calluses on
our hands. Sweet is nice enough, but bittersweet is beautiful, nuanced, full of
depth and complexity. Bittersweet is courageous, gutsy, earthy”.
So good. 2015 has been a year
of enormous, raw spiritual growth for me. As I learn counseling, I have been
counseled myself. I have begun to peel back the layers of my past and see the
bright, white light of the Lord gently pushing me, softly leading me in my
bittersweet areas. Thank you, Lord for your goodness. Thank you for the “but if
nots”.
Job 2:10- “Shall we accept
good from God, and not trouble?”
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