Picture: the sweetest girlies who are gifts to me and Jemma jumping into being big sis
In an effort to share my own journey, because it helps me process, and because I think deployments should be talked about more, here are some snippets of real life from deployment for me.
⁃ Tony only having certain times to talk on the phone which happens to often be the worst possible times for me (baby crying, toddler tantrums)... not always.... but the time difference can make it hard sometimes
⁃ Checking the news worrying and then checking myself for worrying and telling myself to trust God with Tony’s life (you can’t live your life in fear, it cripples joy and true living)
⁃ Holding the baby crying late at night, wishing for relief, wishing for my partner in crime / best friend / love
⁃ Watching your babies meet milestones, wishing Tony could see them (Christmas, birthdays, every day things like the baby eating solids or Jemma learning shapes and colors)
⁃ Feeling the burden of caring for your home and keeping your family together with main man gone (things breaking, finances, kids dr appts, kids sick)
⁃ Torn between wanting to hold it together positively when talking to Tony so he doesn’t worry about us but also wanting to share honestly so he can walk with me in the hard
Specifically, the Army Guard can be hard as the families can be all in different places. Tony’s unit has soldiers from different villages around Alaska, in Fairbanks, in the Valley/ Eagle River area, really all over. It can be hard to get support because it is different from active duty folks who often live more closely together (although I know this is not always the case and active duty can be just as lonely).
Sometimes when people would ask how I was doing, it was difficult to articulate two things being true: 1) it’s hard 2) God is still good in this and still a provider.
In a thousand ways, our community has walked with us in this deployment (see previous posts). But I also don’t want to shy away from sharing the loneliness and the hard and the reality that was our every day on deployment.
No comments:
Post a Comment