So,
in my last post I described my job a little bit and what life as a social
worker looks like broken down into a daily basis.
I
wanted to take some time to reflect a little more personally on what I do. But
first, I can’t go on unless I tell you a little about my story with Jesus
Christ and how my life has changed because of the Lord’s saving grace. A pause
needs to be had so you can know a little more where I am coming from.
Let
me tell you a little bit about my salvation story. When I was in 8th
grade around springtime, my family found out that my dad had stage 4 cancer,
which means that the cancer had been caught too late and had spread to other
organs up to an un=treatable point. At this point, my parents sat down and
explained to us that my Dad had cancer and that they were going to do what they
could to stop it, but things didn’t look good. About 2 weeks later, my dad took
his own life. I believe that my father did not want my mother, my sister, and I
to see him go through cancer and slowly die.
I
struggled with his decision. At first, after my father died, it was very
surreal and just felt like he was on vacation and would come home. Soon, it
began to sink in and I just felt sick with grief. I needed my Dad. I miss him.
I love him. Later, I felt anger at God over what happened and angry with my Dad
for the decision he made. Around the angry stage, I was at a friend’s house in
New Mexico and I went outside by the river. I just began to weep and weep and
beg God to show me He was real. I poured out my heart towards God and told him
how angry I was and that I didn’t understand why this had to happen to my
family. I cried for hours, just yelling at God and listening to the river. At
one point, I felt a tight squeeze around my body, as if there was an angel or
as if God himself was wrapping his arms in comfort around me. It was a reminder, a sign. I will never forget that
moment. As I slowly let out my feelings, I felt an unbelievable amount of love,
peace, and hope begin to flood my body and soul. I felt as if a weight was
being lifted off of my shoulders.
I
cried out to God that I wanted to believe in his son Jesus, and I felt with
everything in me that my whole life had changed. It was then that I believed in
Jesus and wanted to have a relationship with Him. I had heard the gospel before
but this was different. I wanted to know him for myself; I felt his comfort
surround me in love. I felt his love for me, His child. I grew up Catholic and
was raised in the Catholic Church. After this experience in 8th
grade, I had such a hunger for the Word and longing for the truth. I grew in my
understanding of the gospel and wanted Jesus so much. The Lord blessed me with
friendships and a group of girls that would walk in faith in Jesus with me. I
am so thankful for my friends Mandy, Lindsay, Hillary, and Elizabeth who I feel
walked with me as I began to grow in my faith in the Lord. Community in faith is so important. Off and on, I would
go back to Catholic Church with my mom or the Baptist church with my friends or
to non- denominational churches. The denomination didn’t matter; I knew one
thing: I loved Jesus, wanted a relationship with him and was saved by grace
with no doing of my own. I see now in my life that the Lord has perfect timing
and is so, so good in his grace. I see that my father had his time on earth and the
Lord used his death to bring me closer to Himself; that I would know my father
in Heaven and have eternal life with Jesus. My heart had exploded for the Lord.
My anger and hurt at my earthly father had turned into an overflowing of love
for my heavenly Father in whom I found great rest for my soul.
“Come
to me all who are weary and heavy- burdened and I will give you rest.” Matthew
11:28
God
gives rest to hurting souls. This is a truth I know personally.
Here’s
the gospel, in case you haven’t heard. You’re a sinner. Yep, you think you are
your own God, you think you can run your own life, you think you got it all
going on and you don’t. Trust me, when you lose someone close to you as I did,
it becomes clear: you don’t get to choose the course of your life. There’s
something bigger going on. A greater power that is in control (and I'm so glad). Our lives are made, designed, planned at the
beginning of time to serve one purpose and one purpose alone: to give glory to
the God of the universe who reigns sovereign over our life. If you haven’t had
a wake up call, you will, don’t worry. You will fail the one test that would
get you into the school you wanted to go to and get you to the career you
wanted. The person you always thought you would marry might break up with you,
someone close to you might die, you might not be the person you always thought
you would be. That’s because you aren’t the person in control here; God is.
We
are sinners who every day want evil. We are selfish, self centered,
self-focused, self indulgent, selfish selfish people. We are not good people. Just look at
children, little toddlers. No one teaches them to be evil, they are born with
it. We all are. Our hearts want nothing but evil. And we can never be “good” or
ever “good enough” on our own. If we just keep on going on with life and never
see our own sin and need for Jesus, we will spend eternity in Hell. That’s why
we need God. Sweet, sweet Lord. A Father who loves us so much that he sent his
own precious son to die for our sins. If this doesn’t make much sense to you,
it’s like this. We need a bridge to God because He good. We can’t get to God on
our own. Because God is good, he cannot accept sin. We can never be righteous
enough. So, Jesus stepped in as a bridge between God and us. He wants us to
spend eternity with Him in Heaven. He offered his life as a sacrifice so that
we can be with God, in a relationship forever.
“For
the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus
Christ our Lord.” Romans 6:23
A
true understanding of the gospel brings so much joy because there is no way to
“earn” salvation or “earn” a relationship with Christ. It is given freely, and
it is a gift in the truest sense. One that you could never repay.
I
found in my life that after I was saved, I had so much more joy. Even in the
midst of a season marked by my father’s death, I found joy because I knew
Christ and I knew that my life had been changed for eternity. My soul was
saved! When I say saved, I was saved from darkness, saved from eternity in Hell. I love this picture (and it
is a realistic picture): it is as if I was dead with no breath in me and the
Lord breathed sweet life into me.
It
is so true- I was dead in my sin and now walk in the light of life, true life,
one that is lived for Him and for his glory.
“This
is what God the Lord says- he who created the heavens and stretched them out;
who spread out the earth and all that comes out of it, who gives breath to its
people, and life to those who walk on it.” Isaiah 42:5
This
is my salvation story. How my Father in heaven looked down on me with
unbelievable grace and saved me from eternity and darkness and called me to
life in Him. How the horrific nightmare and tragedy of losing a Father at a
young age can turn into a beautiful picture of the Lord’s sovereignty, his
beautiful plan that is coming into place long before I was here on earth to
bring the Lord glory.
May
this story point you towards Christ. It is about the Lord and not me. It's HIS story. My hope is that you can see the Lord in my
life and also that you can see Christ in all parts of my life, including my
work as social worker. Because your whole life changes when you know Jesus. And
this makes my approach different than others.
Merry
Christmas today! Praise God from whom all blessings flow, He gifted us with a
Savior in whom rich, true life is offered.
“For
to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his
shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting
Father, Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9:6
Footnote
#1: As a footnote, if you want to know more about the gospel, please send me a
facebook message (Anna Luiken) or comment below. Christ is my life and I want
you to know him too.
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