Lessons on Patience

pa·tience

  [pey-shuhns] 

noun

1.

the quality of being patient,  as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss oftemper, irritation, or the like.

2.

an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness orannoyance when confronted with delay: to have patience with aslow learner.

3.

quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence:to work with patience.

Yes, this is what the Lord is trying to teach me. All over the place. Everywhere.

Patience, patience, patience. 

And I'm not getting the message.

This is the par none, the hardest lesson for me to ever learn.

You see, contentment is the thorn in my side. It has been, and I'm afraid it always will.

I am a sinner. So, as you read, keep that in mind. This is how I see life often times: what do I want next? What could be better? What can I do right now to get the things I want (which I wish I had right now)? 

Tony is gentle with me and kind. He accepts that this is my struggle. He lovingly reminds me that we serve a Father who has our best in mind, who wants to shape and mold us for HIS glory and OUR good.

Some examples of my impatience:

1) Waiting in line 

2) Traffic

3) When things need to be fixed around the house

4) When I want something (Whether that be food because I'm hungry or thinking bigger: a different job, a puppy, babies...)

5) When technology doesn't go my way (i.e. my computer breaks down, my phone isn't working...)

6) When I cook. I want it to be ready fast and I don't want things to mess up

Yes, I am this impatient.

But the Lord is abundantly graceful. And unending in his forgiveness and love.

I am learning to accept my life exactly as it is, knowing that I serve a God who knows every hair on my head, every thought I've ever thought, everything I've ever wished for. 

God loves me so much, in fact, that He doesn't just give me the things I want when I want them.

He is trying to teach me to want Him and to want my life to be a story of his faithfulness. 

This is a lesson I am only just learning. I know God is real. I know He hears my innermost thoughts. I know He loves me. 

The main thing I'm learning in the midst of my sin and impatience is that, simply put, this life is NOT about me. AT ALL. It is about the Lord and HIS glory, not my own. I am a servant of a God who has proved to me his love for me, over and over. I trust Him. I want my life to point to Him and Him alone. 

Only when I let go of the things I want, my expectations, the things I think I want and desire and need and instead want the things of eternity do I truly rest in the Lord.

My goal: to hate my sin and saturate myself in the truth of God's word.

This is what the Lord says about patience:

"But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31

"But you, oh Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness." Psalm 86:15

"I waited patiently for the Lord, he turned to me and heard my cry." Psalm 40:15

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12

"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." James 1:19-20

Oh for sweet grace, that in my sin the Lord rescues me and reminds me of His truth.

I know these lessons on patience will still continue. I pray I am willing to learn, open to the Lord's gentle reminders of his love for me.

Patience, let's dance you and I :)

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