Personalities, Pride, and Perfection

Alrighty, so I am going to jazz things up a bit around here and change the pace to a different topic that I love: personalities and what drives people.

Over the years, I have taken several different kinds of personality tests. Most I have found to be pretty helpful. I think questions about how you think, make decisions, and respond to people and situations help you to self analyze and see your strengths and weaknesses which is important. It is also hilarious at times, especially in marriage, to see how two people can be created so differently and think in opposite ways.

Personalities

Some of the personality tests I have taken include:
1. Meyers Briggs- This is based on psychological theories proposed by Carl Jung and by the end of the assessment you will fit into one of four categories:

- Introverted (I) or Extroverted (E)
Introverts tend to be more reserved and shy, think things through in their head, like slow paced intentional conversations and like to observe. Extroverts tend to be more talkative and outgoing, like to think out loud, like a fast pace and big groups and don't mind being the center of attention.

- Sensing (S) or Intuition (N)
If you tend to have strengths in sensing, you will be great at paying attention to small details, you prefer ideas that have practical applications, and you like things described specifically and literally. If you tend to be more intuition focused, you are more of a dreamer. You see the big picture and you enjoy exploring ideas and concepts.

- Thinking (T) or Feeling (F)
Thinkers vs. Feelers pretty much is self explanatory. Thinkers are very logical and factual, reasonable and level headed. Feelers are more in tune with and value emotion. They may make decisions based on emotion rather than logic. They like to find the best in others and tend to be people pleasers.

- Judging (J) or Perceiving (P)
Those that tend towards "judging" is not simply being judgmental, as the name might imply, but prefers detailed step-by-step instructions, likes decisions to be made, and prefers for plans to be made. Those that tend towards "perceiving" like to have all options open, sees rules and deadlines as flexible, enjoy being spontaneous, and making plans up as you go.

At the end of my assessment, I came out an ENFJ. My hubby is an INTP... we think very differently. A lot. :) It's good for us though and helps us to love each other the way Christ calls us to.

If you are interested in trying out the test, try this link: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp

Something to keep in mind is that you probably have a natural tendency, but different situations call for you to get out of your comfort zones and act in areas you might not be strong in. My point is that we may lean one way or another in different seasons, situations, or with different teams or groups of people.

2. Another good test is by Gary Smalley and is based around four different personality types: Otter, Beaver, Retriever, and Lion.

- Otters are very people oriented and like to have fun. They are the jokers of the group. They enjoy motivating and influencing others and tend to have a lot of friendships, but not necessarily deep relationships.
- Beavers like to take their time and do things right. They are detail oriented, logical, and practical. They like things exactly and precisely.
- Retrievers are loyal, sensitive, and caring. They are steady, good listeners, and have deep relationships.
- Lions are natural leaders. They are competitive, goal oriented, and enjoy challenges. They don't mind conflict and like to take charge.

Like Meyers Briggs, you can be a mix of these types or tend towards one most of the time. I am an otter-beaver and Tony is a retriever-lion (you can see the opposites attract making its theme here).

I was introduced to this personality test while working at a Christian camp throughout college called Pine Cove. Every summer, there would be a night dedicated to all of the staff and counselors taking the test. It was meant to help us see that each of us have strengths to bring to the table and to realize that no one personality was better than another, and if we were going to work as a team and work well together, we had to realize that. It was hilarious because there were hundreds of people working at camp and when our director talked about certain personality types, everyone sort of cheered on what they knew was their personality type (and clearly because we all think we have the best personality type!). The introverts felt they knew best how to take on and silently observe the world, and the extroverts were busy already talking with everyone around them about how awesome they thought they were. I still remember him saying that if there was a party being thrown, otters would be the first ones there ready to have fun but there would be no party without the beavers. Beavers would be the ones thinking ahead, bringing the food and drink and plates and decorations. We definitely all need each other. This I know for sure!

If you want to give the test a go, try this link: http://www.sagestrategies.biz/documents/FiveMinutePersonalityTestforclass.pdf

3. Another good personality test is called StrengthsQuest. This one I know is good for works based strength identification and how you work in groups. At the end of the test, you receive your top five strengths.

The website link is here: http://www.strengthsquest.com/content/cms.aspx?space=SQ&ci=141728&title=index
Or you can try a free similar test here: http://freestrengthstest.workuno.com/free-strengths-test.html

Pride and Perfection
I love learning and seeing how people tick. I'm an otter, so I love people and I love stories. I definitely think that learning about your personality is important. In arguments I've had with my husband, I can see areas where I know I lean more based on my personality. But I also know that it is our personalities that make us who we are and that brought us together.

However, I do think that sometimes there can be excuses made for our personalities. Introverts might rely on the new person they are meeting to ask all the questions in the conversation and never ask questions to get to know the other person (this is selfish). Extroverts might make the conversation all about them and how awesome they are (also very selfish). We may fall back on our personalities for reasons why we do things and use it as an excuse to not make needed changes in areas of sin, saying "It's just the way I am." Sure, it's the way you are but that doesn't mean you don't need to learn to act out of your natural tendency in order to serve and love someone the way you need to. Sometimes, I need to spend a night in as opposed to a night out with a big group to show my husband the one on one time his introvert self loves. He often times chooses to act against his natural tendency and go to a big group event with me because he knows I love meeting new people. We both can overcome our pride and love those around us well.

I recently had an enlightening conversation about personalities and failure with some good friends. A "retriever" friend that I love realized that when she was rejected from something, she immediately blamed herself, thinking about all the ways she was lacking and all the reasons why it was justified that was rejected or had "failed" in some way. For me, I realized my confidence is blaring and, I know, a bit annoying at times. For my "otter" self, when I am rejected from something, I immediately begin thinking of all the reasons why it was unjustified that I was rejected and all the reasons I am awesome and they are missing out. What a different perspective, both self focused and prideful!

In either situation, I realized the problem is we were both aiming for.... perfection. No one is perfect and all of us will fail and mess up and be rejected at times. Seriously. I guarantee you the people in your life that you think are perfect have been rejected and have failed at some point in their lives.

Social media doesn't help us out. "Perfection" or what we think is perfection fills our Facebook and Instagram and Pinterest screens. We continue to compare ourselves and we feel defeated.

The truth is that the only "perfect" is Jesus. We can trust the God we serve that when things don't go our way, He has a perfect plan. He is sovereign over mistakes, mess ups, and missteps. He takes our defeats and deficiencies and turns them into something beautiful. He continues to do this and He always, always will. He had done it in my past and He will do it in my future.

"Come, everyone who thirst,

come to the waters;

and he who has no money,

come, buy, and eat!

Come, buy wine and milk 

without money and without price.

Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread,

and your labor for that which does not satisfy?

Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good,

and delight yourselves in rich good.

Incline your ear, and come to me;

hear, that your soul may live;

and I will make with you an everlasting covenant,

my steadfast, sure love for David." 

Isaiah 55: 1-3

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Renewing Reason: The Most Important Literary Work Of All Time

There is nothing I am more passionate about than sharing the real message of Christ. Willing to hear me out? I'd love that. And since you've arrived here at my blog, I hope you'll give me a chance.

Many people think that to become a Christian, they must better themselves up somehow before they can come to God. They must be a good man or woman. The crazy thing is that the opposite is true. Christ came to help us realize that we don't have to keep trying to be good enough. We simply have to understand that we are in fact, not good at all, and need a savior.

The wrong message of "be a good person to be a Christian" scares me. Parents teach their children to "be good little boys and girls because that is what God wants". This creates a sense of duty and obligation. We then begin going to church, choosing to do nice and kind and right things because we think we must, rather than because we want to because of what our God has done for us through Christ. We miss the whole point. God doesn't need us to make Him feel better. Required love is not genuine love. 

1 Samuel 16:7, "For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart."

This wrong message of "be a good person" can multiply. Reading the bible becomes an action to check off on our list of good things we can offer God (when in fact we simply need to come to God just as we are, broken and sinful and NOT good). When I was little, I used to attend Sunday School and hear my teachers share bible stories. To me, that is all they were: stories. In some ways, if I am being completely honest, I thought they were all made up to help us get to what I thought was the point: be a good little girl. Some of them seemed so ridiculous! Global floods and miracles and healings and talking donkeys. There is no way it could be REAL. 

Of course, it all changed for me when my dad passed away in the spring of 2003. I went through an emotional journey of confusion and anger and finally a friend shared the gospel with me: God loved me and sent Jesus to give me eternal life. I believed that. Soon, I began reading the bible because I knew it was how I would learn more about God. I was still skeptical, but I understood God's love for me and I wanted to believe what He had to say. 

It has been 12 years since I became a believer. And I can truly say today that I believe that the Word of God is the only source of real truth, a guide for my life, and an incredible resource of history. It is 100% accurate and authentic. My new passion is that I share with others some practical ways we can see that the bible is the most important literary work of all time. How can we show that it is TRUE and not just a bunch of made up stories? The amazing truth is that it is foolish NOT to believe that the bible is true. If you are willing to genuinely look at evidence and facts, you will see that the scriptures are THE most backed up literary source. If you look at the truth, you cannot deny it. 

Here are some main points to get you started (but I encourage you to seek out and learn more about each of these):

1. Copies of the Manuscript

Ancient texts, like those of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates, and Homer and also Old Testament Scripture, were copied by hand before the printing press was invented. The Scriptures are THE most copied manuscript and have the least amount of errors in copying as compared to other ancient texts. For example, Homer, who wrote the Iliad, has 643 copied ancient manuscripts. There are 24,633 copies of Scripture. The Iliad is presented in English classes across the world, the legitimacy of which no one would dare to question. And yet, many people question the legitimacy of Scripture. 

Check out this article link for more information if you're interested: http://www.icr.org/bible-manuscripts/

Or check out this powerpoint: wordalone.org/ppoint/Bibletrue.ppt

2. Archeological Evidence

There has never been any archeological artifact found that has disproved the Scriptures. In fact, the more we dig, the more scripture is seen to be true and historically accurate. 

Check out this article link for more information if you're interested: http://www.equip.org/article/biblical-archaeology-factual-evidence-to-support-the-historicity-of-the-bible/

3. Eyewitness Accounts

When you consider the New Testament gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, they all share the same story. It is extremely difficult to get people to share and see the same story. Of course, each tells from a different perspective but all confirm the person of Jesus Christ and His resurrection. Others shared about Christ and were tortured or killed for it but never changed their story. It would be hard to imagine being willing to die for something that wasn't true. 

Try this link: http://www.tektonics.org/guest/truthfulness.htm

4. There is also evidence for the historical credibility of the Bible, and the life and resurrection of Christ outside of scripture that supports what scripture has to say. 

Consider this article: https://www.probe.org/ancient-evidence-for-jesus-from-non-christian-sources-2/

Another link I like that sums up some main points on the historical and logical evidence to back up scripture is here: http://www.essentialbibleblog.com/2013/03/top-10-reasons-bible-is-true.html

My hope is that you might begin to see that we have reason to believe that scripture is authentic and an incredible resource for our lives. We don't believe this "just because we are good little boys and girls and read the bible because we should". We can believe it intelligently and with confidence. There is evidence to support scripture. It is certainly not a bunch of made up stories. 

I do want to go back to a point I made in my first post in this series, which is this: there is still an aspect of faith to Christianity. Not because scripture can't be backed up, but because until our hearts have changed to be open to God and His truth, we are skeptical and our hearts are hard. Really, until we accept Christ, we are dead in our own sin and love being our own god, our own decider of what is right and wrong. But God is so good and saves us despite our sin. And the evidence is out there to help us along the way. 

My final point is this: the scriptures will change your life. When I first truly understood who Christ was and what He did for my life, I was hungry and desperate for scripture. The more you read, the more amazing it is, the more it fills your heart and your life. The scripture is full and rich. It is "living and active", continuing to be used for thousands of years by believers as a source of truth and a guide. 

Psalm 119 says it all:

Psalm 119: 72, "The law from your mouth is more precious to me than thousands of pieces of silver and gold."

Psalm 119: 102, "How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!"

And finally:

Psalm 119: 151-152, "Yet you are near, Lord, and all your commands are true. Long ago I learned from your statutes that you established them to last forever."

Thank you, Lord, for your everlasting Word. 

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